The Way of the Brokenhearted… Leads to the Way of the Open Heart.
“God breaks the heart
again and again and again
until it stays OPEN.”
Hazrat Inayat Kahn (Sufi Master)
Life is full of surprises. Some are positive but many others do not seem so positive. These surprises, whether positive or negative, are the “stuff” of life.
What we do with the good “stuff” is easy: rejoice, laugh, dance, celebrate, or whatever. What we do with the not-so-good “stuff” defines who we are. What we do with them gives our life meaning or despair. BUT WHAT DO WE DO WITH THESE SURPRISES? Our tragedies, broken dreams, failures, losses, etc. can devour us . . . or strengthen us.
“As long as we are mortal creatures who love other mortals, heartbreak will be a staple of our lives. And all heartbreak, personal and political, will confront us with the same choice. Will we hold our hearts open and keep trying to love, even as love makes us more vulnerable to the losses that break our hearts? Or will we shut down or lash out, refusing to risk love again and seeking refuge in withdrawal or hostility. (Parker Palmer, Politics of the Brokenhearted)
The way of the open heart requires that we FACE ALL of life’s surprises . . . and learn deeply from them . . . and move on.
PRACTICES TO OPEN THE HEART
There are three spiritual disciplines that come from facing the brokenness of our lives. Much of life is about falling down, getting back up, and trying again. These three spiritual disciplines teach us about what it takes to get back up and maybe even about falling down less often.
1. I must “penetrate the illusions about myself and the world that have taken me into this pain.”
“When my heart breaks and I am filled with self-pity and hopeless longing that things might somehow be different, I must look at myself in the clearest possible mirror, trying to penetrate the illusions about myself and the world that have taken me into this pain. Those illusions, however comforting they once were, have now become death-dealing. As long as I cling to them or try to revive them, my heartbreak will not give me, or anyone else, life.”
2. “I must allow myself to go to the center of my pain and stay there until I have felt it as fully as I can.”
“When I touch the painful truth behind my illusions, I must abandon all my clever ways of trying to ignore, flee from, or numb myself against my suffering. Instead, I must allow myself to go to the center of my pain and stay there until I have felt it as fully as I can. In personal life, this might mean letting myself cry and cry again—a “practiced power” well known to people who have lost a spouse or a lover or a friend whose presence defined their lives.”
3. We must set aside time to learn, through the silence of meditation and contemplation, “making space within and around ourselves so that conflict and confusion can settle and a deeper wisdom emerge.”
“Our can-do culture and our eager-to-impress egos want to show the world that we are in charge. We cannot abide the thought that when challenged, we might respond in a way that makes us look like witless, weightless wimps. So we do not wait; we act, even if our action simply triggers the next step in an endless and predictable chain reaction that ultimately brings more calamity down on us as well as others.
“But deep down, we know that when we step back, breathe, allow our agitation to settle, and simply start paying attention, we often see new possibilities in situations that once seemed intractable. The wisdom traditions, religious and secular, have always claimed that only in this contemplative state are we able to touch the truth, whether truth be understood as the fruit of mental acuity or of mystical experience.”
These deep truths or spiritual disciplines apply not only to our individual lives but to our collective lives as a nation.
These concepts and quotes are from Politics of the Brokenhearted by Parker J. Palmer. I highly encourage you to read this essay: http://commonweal.org/new-school/pdf_files/Politics%20of%20the%20Brokenhearted.pdf
Lynn Peterson
January 10, 2010
Very POWERFUL and so true!! I loves the Psalms too and know that Gods plan is perfect! Tho He allows us storms to weather through….His promise is that He is right there to carry us through…if we let Him with a willingness. He has carried me through many tough storms and through each one of them I learn so many new things….kinda like the day He saved me through His precious Son Jesus Christ. If your interested you can go to http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/rickallanpeterson It’s a memorial to my son and I journal about my feelings. His story and the little 4 year old boy who recieved my son’s kidney is in the journal on page 4.
Sir, I want to thank you for your words of wisdom and too I thank God for bringing you into my life, so I could read the beauty here on this page:)
God bless you,
Lynn Peterson
Ron Irvine
January 10, 2010
Thank you for your kind words. I’d love to hear more of your responses as you read other posts. In the responses to my latest blog post I describe further why I blog. http://ronirvine.wordpress.com/2009/12/28/living-the-questions/ I’ll check out your son’s memorial website.