Open Hands
Living with open hands
is an outward expression
of the inner work
of opening the heart, mind, and will.
This opening up requires open eyes
and open ears that see and hear with the heart
. . . a “Seeing” that goes beneath the
surface of actions, reactions, and
interactions, habits and conditioned
responses, mental models and
assumptions,
. . . to the heart below the surface.
With this openness, we “See”
with new eyes at a deeper level into
ourselves, other people,
organizations, communities, and
systems.
This inner work is then expressed
outwardly by living with open hands;
welcoming others and life,
giving and receiving openly,
living in community.
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There are two distinct approaches to living life:
Open hand living
or
Clenched fist living
Our hands are an expression of our heart and mind, our inner self.
As an artist expresses the inner self . . .
As a warrior expresses the inner self . . .
As a villan expresses the inner self . . .
As a thief expresses the inner self . . .
. . . Through the hand,
So do we in our every action and re-action
To people and to life
“Think of the difference between being confronted with a clenched fist and being offered an open hand. The clenched fist signifies threat, rejection, arrogance, exclusion, refusal, anger and violence. The open hand means friendship, help, peace, sharing, communication and connection.” (fr. Vivian Boland)
Clenched fist living contrasted with open hand living
Clenched Fist |
Open Hand |
Threat |
Invitation |
Hidden |
Revealed |
Uptight |
Relaxed |
Defensive |
Inquiring |
Stagnation / Entropy |
Open System |
Barrier |
Connection |
Sees Limits |
Sees Possibilities |
Energy Bottled-Up |
Energy Released |
Closed Mind: knows all, opinionated, full of certainty |
Open Mind: always learning, inquiring, anticipating |
Closed Heart: guarded, controlled, fear |
Open Heart: embraces change, diversity, people |
Conquers / crushes risk and the unknown |
Embraces the unknown and seeks new possibilities |
Competition |
Collaboration |
It is all about ME |
It is all about ALL |
Rob Curtner
February 2, 2012
Listening From the Heart: From Protection to Connection
Listening: to attend closely for the purpose of hearing
Many people in many walks of life, in any culture, and at any age, rarely have an opportunity to share their wonderful dreams or deepest pains, or even day‐to‐day worries. Relationship worries are often discussed as gossip, but rarely face‐to‐face. Our modern lives are busy, filled with activities and entertainment. There never seems to be enough time available for talking and listening. This is especially true in schools.
Reflective Listening: Reflective Listening is the restatement by an individual group member of what he/she believes he/she heard a speaker say for the purpose of clarification and encouragement. This may help to thrash out feelings that were only semi‐apparent when they were first said. Reflective Listening also helps us to verify feelings or facts that have been indirectly implied by the speaker.
Compassion: A feeling of deep empathy, sympathy, or sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
The practice of compassion is central to every faith as well as universal standards of morality. It is the seed from which the abilities to practice all other virtues are grown. Those who practice compassion are those who are also capable of bringing to life a morality that safeguards the dignity of all.
Suffering is universal. One way to step outside of our own pain is to become aware of the suffering or indignities experienced by various other groups or individuals.
Compassionate Listening: A process of relationship‐building which has at its heart the powerful idea that we are all called upon to be peacemakers. We must begin the work of healing first by knowing how to listen with empathy, and then by knowing how to listen for the truth of another person’s story. Compassionate Listening provides a safe container for sharing your concerns and emotions and to be heard. Participants will feel free to share the truths about their lives and struggles.
Five Core Practices of Compassionate Listening
1. Cultivating Compassion for ourselves and others;
2. Developing the Fair Witness by remaining open in conflict situations;
3. Respecting Self and Others by developing boundaries which protect yet include;
4. Listening with the Heart to allow divergence and find a deeper point of connection;
5. Speaking from the Heart with language that reflects a healing intention.
It is better to be kind than to be right. —unknown
Love is the silent conversation between two hearts. — Paramahansa Yogananda
I do not want the peace which passes understanding;
I want the understanding which brings peace.
— Helen Keller
From: The Compassionate Listening Project for Schools – http://www.compassionatelistening.org/