a dark mystery

Posted on April 4, 2007

2


dark mystery

I cried out to her:

“When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me”

(Evanescence song “My Immortal” from the album “Fallen”. Click here to listen.)

Her actions spoke loudly as she walked out on me and our children . . . although her reason still eludes me.

14 years of heaven and hell . . . the pain . . . the relief . . . the pain . . . the confusion . . . the pain, the never-ending burning in my gut . . . the hurting for her, for my children, for me . . .

I cried out:

“These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase”

“When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me”

(Evanescence song “My Immortal” from the album “Fallen”. Click here to listen.)

As she turns her back and walks out, she carries a piece of my heart . . . freely given . . . never to be retrieved . . .

The hole in my heart will always be felt; it never really heals; the pain subsides but never goes away. This I know from having experienced this before.

. . . and life goes on . . . with or without her . . . with or without me . . .

What will I do?

What is next?

“Sometimes the best map will not guide you
You can’t see what’s round the bend
Sometimes the road leads through dark places
Sometimes the darkness is your friend”

Sometimes the darkness is my friend.

And life goes on . . . with or without me . . . but without her . . .

Will I get back on board? Yes but I don’t know how . . . yet

Life is one great big mystery . . . don’t tell me you have the answers. If you do, you just haven’t been asking any questions.

Maybe that’s it! Mysteries are quite intriguing . . . even when full of confusion and darkness.

WHAT IS NEXT???

Staring at the ceiling
as my ears fill up with tears

Gone from mystery into mystery
Gone from daylight into night
Another step deeper into darkness

Closer to the light

Thanks to the poets and prophets of this age . . . giving voice to my heart . . . a catalyst for me to recover my voice after this tragedy.

We’ll see!

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