exactly where I am meant to be?

Posted on November 26, 2010

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I’ve spent most of my life striving to be somewhere,  something, someone, other than where and what I am. Then, during my first worship meeting with the Grand Rapids Friends, Scot said to me, “We are exactly where we are meant to be.” On the outside, I said, “Hmmm”. But on the inside, I said, “What?!?!?” That was almost a year ago, and I’ve been wrestling with that ever since. Don’t get me wrong. The truth of that statement resonated deeply with me. It was the missing piece of the puzzle of my life.

Then why is it so hard to live out that statement in everyday life?

Why do I always want more . . . things, money, success, recognition, satisfaction?

Why does the grass always seem greener on the other side?

What is this deep discontent within my soul?

These are the things I am wrestling with. So don’t think there are any answers to these questions here. But I did have a recent experience that is showing me how real and how true this statement is.

Two weeks ago,  I had what I thought was the flu. It was a body flu like nothing I’d ever experienced; fully equipped with aches and pains, chills and sweats, but worse. It was the flu on steroids. It cleared up and my leg had an infection in it. It got worse and so I went in to Urgent Care. It scared them so they sent me to ER. ER kept me in Observation for a day and then they admitted me for another three days.

Interestingly, I wasn’t worried about any of it. I kept thinking, “I am exactly where I am meant to be” as I read the book, “Living in Process”. I even spent most of the five hours in ER in quiet meditation and contemplation of this.

So what is it that I’m supposed to learn, to experience, at this very moment and each subsequent moment throughout? What am I missing? I became quite inquisitive and kept asking, “OK, now what?” and watched as each new experience emerged.

Einstein once said, “I have no particular talent, I’m merely inquisitive.” I love that!

During my stay, I had no longings to go home, I didn’t get all antsy about getting out of there, even when they kept saying, “One more night.”

Each person became a new relationship adventure. I could smile at the nightly blood taker (the vampiress tech) as she apologetically woke me up. I could really notice the particular strengths and abilities of each new nurse. AND I could verbally express my appreciation for each of them.

What an odd experience. So extraordinary compared to daily life. Why is it that this is not the norm? My hope is that I am moving slowly toward living everyday  like this. Each moment a new adventure, each day full of new possibilities, each person full of riches as they connect with my soul.

I’m now beginning to see that my next statement of belief that I must learn to live out is, “I am exactly who I am meant to be.” We all come to this earth with birth-right gifts and a divine purpose that no one else can fulfill. May I let this statement guide my life and my purpose:

“Every person on this earth comes here with what I call birthright gifts. Using those gifts gives us purpose and meaning in life. This world suffers when even one person is denied the opportunity to use their gifts to make a difference.” (RI)

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” (Marcel Proust)


 

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