dark night of the soul

Posted on April 21, 2012


Where am I? This suffocating darkness, what is this? All I see is darkness… all I feel is pain… Where am I? Who am I?

As I gained consciousness of my spiritual state, I found a darkness deeper than any darkness I could imagine. There was no light at all. No light of life. No light of love. None. Nothing.

All I feel is pain… I’m washed up on the shore of life, regaining consciousness. Each wave crushing me into the rocks on the shore. Battered and bruised, I could not move. I was a rag in the wind, caught on a high wire, tattered and torn. Where am I? Who am I?

I had no bearings with which to navigate my life. In the middle of an ocean, treading water. Where is the shore? Where are the sharks??? How long can I tread water? Weariness penetrates all of my bones. I’m going under. Darkness is all I can see. Pain is all I can feel. I have become Darkness. I have become Pain. A neverending black hole from which I felt I would never emerge…

I no longer have a reason: to get up, to be, to live. Why am I here?

My heart is broken. I am no more…


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