Journaling the Journey

Posted on February 21, 2013

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I do not write because I understand. I write in order to understand.

Writing for me has become a deeply transformational spiritual discipline.journaling

For me, it is mapping a journey . . .

When I started writing, little did I know what the future had in store . . .
a deep and excruciating depression, divorce, job loss, loss of health
benefits, foreclosure of the home my children were born in, and worst
of all, losing my kids half of the time.

My wilderness was my Dark Night of the Soul.
It was like an earthquake that left nothing unturned.
I found myself continuing to write through the pain… through the darkness.

For me, writing is mapping a journey,
not unlike the Israelites’ journey in the wilderness.
They could not see around the bend.
Many surprises were in store . . . both good and bad.

Whenever a significant event happened, they were admonished to REMEMBER.
Each learning experience imparted a new lesson,
a new measure of wisdom that they must not FORGET.
As a tangible reminder of these life remembrances,
they built a monument, a pillar of rocks,
so they could return to them (physically or mentally)
to draw deeply from the wisdom that was imparted.

Along my journey, each of my entries is another pillar of rocks,
a monument to a new insight,
a new learning experience
(usually born out of pain),
a new question (mostly),
a new perspective,
a new surprise (good or bad).

Therefore, I return to my own writing regularly . . . lest I forget . . .

I must remember to befriend life’s dark places ,
lest I forget the truths hidden there.

I must remember to embrace life’s mystery,
lest I forget and think I KNOW.

I must remember to face life’s pain ,
lest I forget the pain of others and the learning that pain imparted to me.

I must remember to sit with the pain of others, being there with them

I must remember to sit with my own pain, in silence, listening to what it
has to teach me.

This book is my journey inward and downward to the core of my soul, the center of my heart, my ground of being. Since I believe there is “that of God” in each person, this inward journey is a story of my journey to God; a journey that took me in the opposite direction of everything I thought to be good and true. A complete stripping, a total unravelling, a blast that took the door of my life off its hinges, an earthquake that left NOTHING unturned.

My striving for comfort and security… emptiness.
My drive for certainty and clarity… nothingness.
My quest for knowlege and knowing for sure… a striving after the wind.

But when life destroys THE FACADE, what is left are the deeper things… things that matter;
a baptism of fire, burning off the dross and leaving what is pure and true… the essence.

Join me for a journey beneath THE FACADE, through THE UNRAVELLING,
a Dark Night of the Soul, in what has been for me a journey of a lifetime.
Join me as I map a short history of my heart;
from a heart broken to a heart open,
from a heart awakening to a heart afire.
What I have found… I’m still finding.
Yet what I have found is real.
Life IS full of meaning and purpose when we learn to See.
But this Seeing must be done by each one of us.
No one can find meaning and purpose for you… except you.

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