Toxicity that is Overt, I call Meanness.
Toxicity that is Covert, I call Hypocrisy.
Covert toxicity is much more destructive due to its two-faced deception.
Not only is it more hurtful to those around us but it is more destructive to oneself.
The toxic stress from this inhuman and inhumane world brings me to my knees as I feel so deeply the the undertow of the current politics of hate, fear, and rage pulling me under, submerging me, and making me so weary… just trying to breathe and to live.
Over the past 5 years,
Toxic Politics has broken my back.
Toxic Religion has broken my spirit.
Toxic People have broken my heart.
I don’t think our country will ever recover.
I don’t think Christianity in America will ever recover.
I KNOW I’LL NEVER RECOVER.
Everything I grew up believing has been destroyed.
I know that I can no longer, in good conscience, identify with this toxicity as I learn to guard my heart that is precious, gentle, tender, and so vulnerable.
I also know that I can no longer look the other way as one of our two political parties continue to traumatize with their meanness and hypocrisy our most vulnerable citizens and those that care about all, inclusively; through dehumanization, labeling, name-calling, categorizing; as they make a strong move toward eliminating other human beings.
In a culture of war and violence, fear and hate, everyone loses.
“It is in our lives, and not from our words, that our religion must be read.” (Thomas Jefferson, 1816)
“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” (Dalai Lama)
I’m weary of seeing smiling people that profess that they are true believers
but rather show themselves to be hypocrites in word and deed; fuming with toxicity, hate, judgement, fear.
Offering acts of kindness as they stab in the back
their neighbor, brothers, sisters, strangers, the most vulnerable.
Often we don’t realize (or care) that how we vote is a stab in their backs,
revealing the fruit of whatever type of tree we are.
By our fruit we reveal our true self, our true religion, our true politics, our true compassion, our true kindness, and our true unconditional love.
To care or not to care; that is the question.
We forget that a
Good Tree = Good Fruit.
Bad Tree = Bad Fruit.
It is the way of all of creation.
It is human nature.
It is the way of this world.
It is the way we are.
Unless we choose otherwise.
Matthew 7: 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
In the context of this parable, those that are specifically targeted as bad fruit are the “goats” that did not see or care for those in need; the prisoners, the orphans, the widows, the hungry, the thirsty, the strangers (or aliens), the sick, the poor that need clothes and shelter. (see Matthew 31-46)
Good Fruit: The fruit of the Spirit, found in Galatians 5:22-23, is made up of the following nine qualities or gifts: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
IF I am going to live a life of compassion, then compassion for all MUST be seen in my actions.
IF I am going to live a life of love, then love for all MUST be seen in my words and actions.
IF I am going to live a life of acceptance, then acceptance of all MUST be seen in my words and actions.
IF I am going to live a life of kindness, then kindness toward all MUST be seen in my words and actions.
IF I am going to live a life of peace, then peace among all people MUST be seen in my words and actions.
EVERY WORD, EVERY ACTION, EVERY REACTION, EVERY GESTURE; VERBAL OR NONVERBAL.
UNCONDITIONALLY GIVEN TO ALL WITHOUT JUDGMENT, EXCLUSION, OR PREJUDICE.
Too often I see people living lives of judgement, rejection, hate, fear, resistance, exclusion, while speaking words of kindness and love with a smile. Their actions demonstrate something very different than what they think they are, than their thoughts, than their beliefs, than their religion, than their politics.
You tell me who you are and I say, show me.
You tell me what your values are and I say, show me.
You tell me what you believe and I say, show me.
Show me by your words and actions, politics and religion.
“The true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members.”
Gandhi.
Too many people say that they care about the poor and downtrodden, the sick and the weak, the tattered and torn, orphans and widows, the “least of these”, but their actions are stingy, contradictory, and hypocritical as they sit and observe and judge; and their politics is full of hate and war on the poor, the refugees, the elderly, the aliens, and strangers. Anyone that is different. As we label and categorize, we dehumanize, making “those” people invisible so we can turn away and rid ourselves of the discomfort they cause those of us that are better than them.
Too many people say they follow a religion of love and compassion and yet their actions are to turn away from those that are in the greatest need, as their politics and voting seek to cut support, tolerance, and inclusion for the most vulnerable people on earth. Out of sight… out of mind.
Too many people say they care but their actions and their politics show a total lack of empathy.
It is too easy to forget that except for Grace, there go I.
I am no better than the worst of the poor and downtrodden.
I am no better than the worst of the worst.
If it was my child or my aging parent,
what would I say, what would I do, what would I believe, how would I vote?
What does it take to lose our humanity?
Can I lose my humanity without losing my religion? NO!
Do not say you are a Christian or a Jew or a Hindu or a Buddhist or a Muslim and then turn your back on your neighbor, on the poor, on the beat down, on the brokenhearted, on the tattered and torn.
What I do know is that the atheists, agnostics, skeptics, humanists that are my friends would never do such a sad, disturbing, and absurd thing. Their word is their bond. Their words and actions come from the heart. And these are seen in the integrity of our humanity toward self and all others, especially those that are different.
If you say you care, then care.
If you say you are compassionate, then be compassionate.
If you say you love, then love.
If you say you love, then love without condition, without agenda, and without selfish return.
Be who you are.
Say who you are.
Do who you are.
Live who you are.
Vote who you are.
You choose.
No one else but you.
We have no reason to be here on this earth
except to bear fruit that makes a difference.
Otherwise I’m a waste of space.
Integrity
Integrity is when a person’s inner self flows outward and expresses itself to the world.
Integrity is when my inward life is clearly seen in my outward manifestation (words, actions, religion, politics).
Soul and role, inward and outward, values and actions, beliefs and words must all match.
When they don’t we are working against who we are as human beings.
When soul and role do not match, the result is inevitable:
Dis-integration versus integration
Incoherence versus coherence
Fragmentation versus wholeness
Incredible versus credible
Two-faced versus authentic
Double minded versus clear minded
Duplicity versus singularity
By your fruit you will be known
Lemons do not and cannot grow on an apple tree. By our fruit we are known.
“His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords.” Psalm 55:21
No more war on the poor.
No more war on the hungry.
No more war on the refugees.
No more war on the elderly.
No more war on the prisoners.
No more inhumanity.
No more two-faced cowards!
No more toxic people full of hate and fear, rage and judgement.
No more hollow men void of compassion, empty of kindness.
Matthew 7
1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
1 john 3:18
Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
1 John 4:20
Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar.
John 13:35
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Even better: Do unto others as THEY would have you do unto them.
GREATEST COMMANDMENT: Love God. And love your neighbor as yourself.
WHO IS MY NEIGHBOR???
“There was someone however who did question what Christ meant by “neighbor,” a lawyer, who asked him directly, ‘And who is my neighbor?’
“In response, Christ delivered the Parable of The Good Samaritan.
“In the Parable of The Good Samaritan, Jesus Christ taught that loving your neighbor means more than loving those in your homogenous and socially segregated neighborhood. Loving your neighbor means more than being kind to those you meet at the grocery store or the neighborhood park. Loving your neighbor means more than being respectful, generous, and tolerant.
“Christ taught that our neighbors are not the people who are most like us, but the ones who are most different than us. Our neighbors are the people our own social circles have rejected, and in order to love them, we must make space for them in our lives, we must get close to them both mentally and physically.”
A Reflection: The Trauma of Toxicity for me
About a month after I had written this blog post, I was completing an online required training for my work with people with developmental disabilities. The lesson was on Trauma Informed Care. They made a statement that resonated with what I’m referring to here and how triggering this toxic culture is for me:
“Acute episodic trauma is the type of trauma where an event can have devastating effects on people and can threaten their lives.
“Many of the individuals we serve have behavioral concerns that may escalate their behaviors.
“This may trigger both acute trauma and trauma history for the caregiver. At times, this acute sense of threat has been labeled ‘toxic stress’.”
Often I have been noticing my own responses to things and trying to learn from them. During this time of paying attention to life as a teacher, I’ve noticed that I sometimes react more strongly than I used to to things that happen in my life. For many years, I didn’t even notice that sort of thing. But as I grow older and more reflective, it is right there in my face. Here is a facebook post that was very revealing to me.
As I realize that all of life is my teacher, one of my greatest teachers is me and my own reactions, my own hot buttons, my points of defendedness that evoke surprising, emotional reactions.
Often I stand there puzzled and confused asking myself, did I just do that or say that?
I feel it in my heart and in my stomach. And I’m learning that these buttons are my own areas of insecurity, uncertainty, dissonance, hurt, and trauma. They seem to be cracks in my facade. But isn’t THAT where the light gets in??? What more can I want?
I must continue to get better at listening to the many hidden truths in each and every moment, especially as I feel my raw nerves so frail amidst the toxic stress of this world.
Living with Open Hands 
Posted on June 4, 2021
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