what I’ve learned from my kids

Posted on June 19, 2016


… and am still learning.
kids and me
(a reflection on Father’s Day, 2016)

What I think I already know

… is always only part of the story.

If I already know,

… I can no longer learn.

I should not believe everything I’m told,

… questioning is an important virtue.


To love means to seek to understand

… more than to be understood.

The beginning of understanding is listening,

… without talking.

Unconditional love is unconditional,

… period.


A loving heart is revealed by the friends we choose,

… often friends without friends.

A loving heart is revealed by the friends we stick with,

… no matter what.

A loving heart welcomes the stranger

… embracing differences.


“Telling” is more of an act of dominance

… than love.

All true change comes from within ourselves,

…not from outside ourselves.

Therefore we must learn to listen to the inner teacher,

… the still, small voice.


We must remember that the voice of the smallest, of the “least of these”,

… often is full of the greatest wisdom.

Wisdom may be shouted from on high among many loud and competing voices,

… but is speaking most clearly yet quietly in the lowest places.

Wisdom is always speaking, with and without words, but is never heard,

… unless we are listening.

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These things I have learned not so much by being a father but more so by being a listener, an observer of these precious lives as they grow. Truly they have been my role models, my teachers..

I can only wish I understood these things during the whole time that I was parenting them….

For more see,

Raising Kids Alone: https://ronirvine.wordpress.com/2010/08/02/raising-kids-alone/

The Search for Wisdom: https://ronirvine.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/the-search-for-truth